The Sun Will Come Out

February 12, 2012March 26, 20122 Comments

Three weeks ago I was in Hawaii, Maui, tropical paradise, on the first vacation W and I have taken together without our families in five years, our reward to ourselves for the last two really difficult years, and we were having a horrible time.

For starters, we were violently ill. Not just I-have-a-cold-and-I-feel-kind-of-crappy ill. Seriously, disgustingly-so-I’ll-spare-you-the-details ill. We had one great beach day and then the clouds rolled in, literally and figuratively, and as the wind whipped palm fronds outside our condo window we lost four full days during weather that made it too cold and unpleasant to even sit on our lanai once we could move.

I’d hoped so much for this vacation to be a relaxing, rejuvenating experience. Instead, everything kept going wrong. Continue reading →

Hand Me Down’s First Reviews

February 7, 2012March 14, 20124 Comments

Writers get used to being criticized in writing workshops. The point is to make the work better, so we critique, we review, we discuss, we suggest. We take the best advice and we revise. And we revise for days or months or years and we put the work out there again—to a new workshop group, a thesis committee, and eventually, an agent. We brainstorm with the agent, revise some more, get feedback on the revisions, and (can you guess?) revise even more. We send our work to publishers. Someone likes it, buys it, and then we brainstorm with an editor, revise, hear their thoughts, revise again. And then the work that we started back in grad school is becoming a real live book and will be entering the big bad world. And I’m terrified she’s going to get beat up.

It’s not that I can’t take criticism. I can. I mean, it’s not like I walk around yelling, “Criticize me!” but I handle constructive feedback well. I think the difference now is that the book is finished. I’m not turning in a chapter to be workshopped to friends and fellow writers, or a revision to an editor I trust. This is the finished product released for review without any intention of making it better. Final judgement.

This is what I thought about all weekend while I waited for the Publisher’s Weekly review of Hand Me Down that I was told would be in yesterday’s issue. It’s my first official industry review so I was understandably nervous and when I got the news, it was good! The magazine called me a “talented new writer” and said, Continue reading →

Writing Wednesday

February 1, 2012February 7, 20121 Comment

I’ve been thinking about how to share all the great posts about writing I read, which is a lot, and this seems like the best way, so welcome to Writing Wednesday (until I think of a better title)! Since I am, you know, a writer now, it’s part of my job to be a involved in the larger writing community. So I read a lot of author blogs and articles about the industry and the writing process and the ones I find particularly interesting/helpful/funny/inspiring/just generally good I’ll share with you. Enjoy!

Improv performing tips that relate to writing in How to Write Like a Funny Woman from The Rumpus. “If you can’t kill your darlings, anesthetize/copy & paste them in a separate Word document.” I do this. It is easier than killing them outright.
The Port Townsend Writer’s Conference this year has Pam Houston, Cheryl Strayed, and Dorothy Allison on staff this year. What an amazing group of women! I wish I could go.
Sarah Pinneo, whose book Julia’s Child was just released, talks about her first book not working out and how that led to something better here.
Two gems from Pam Houston: an interview at Fictionaut Five and an essay called Corn Maze, in which she discusses the blurry lines between fiction and non-fiction, and what language and truth can really mean, and why her narrator in her new book Contents May Have Shifted is named Pam. Did you know she taught James Frey?
As an introvert, I found this post, The Perks of Being an Introverted Writer, really interesting.
And finally, a quiz from Book Riot to see which author you are. I got Flannery O’Connor.

Year of the Dragon

January 30, 2012February 13, 2012Leave a comment

Last Monday began the new lunar year for 2012, the Year of the Dragon in Chinese astrology. Dragon years are supposed to be full of prosperity, enthusiasm, optimism, and good changes.

This feels appropriate as I move into a 2012 chock-full of transformation. My book, this thing I worked on, doubted, stressed about, loved, hated, and loved (and hated) again for years, is going to be released out into the world where it can be attacked and ridiculed and misinterpreted. When I’m being optimistic, I know this little piece of me could also be appreciated, enjoyed, related to, and maybe even praised. My agent and editor know what they’re doing, so I’m trusting that the positive will overwhelm the negative, which is the opposite of what my insecurities often want me to believe, but I’m working on reversing that attitude.

I will also get married in 2012, something I never thought I’d do. I did not dream about my wedding or look at bride magazines or create elaborate Barbie ceremonies like other girls I knew. The farthest I delved into marriage fantasy was in elementary school when I was learning cursive and hoped whoever I married someday would have a last name that began with K so I could write the pretty capital cursive letter often. (Incidentally, W does, though I am not planning to change my name.) I’m still not fantasizing about a wedding, but I am excited about the after, about not having to call W my boyfriend when we’ve been together for eight years, about not worrying that if something happens to one of us, doctors or police or whoever wouldn’t tell us what was going on, about being officially in it for the long haul, about us, together, for the rest of our lives.

I’m working on a lot of personal transformations as well—letting go, worrying less, enjoying life more, easing up on myself, not focusing on the tiny flaws and seeing the larger, pretty-damn-good overall picture. I’m trying to shift my reactions so I can allow myself to be proud, to be happy. I’ve worked my ass off to get to this place where I have the things I want and can see a good life materializing before my eyes, and the work now is less about cultivating the drive and determination I needed to get here and more about slowing down and treasuring the things I love no matter how terrified I am of losing them.

So, here we are, one week into the Year of the Dragon, and I am gearing up for the monumental months ahead. Dragons represent power and deliver good fortune, and I already feel that energy building. I don’t know exactly what changes are on the horizon, or how I will handle the ups and downs, the stress and jubilation, and whatever else this year of the dragon brings me. What I do know is that I am full of enthusiasm, optimism, and hope, ready to grow, and thrilled about the changes around the corner.

Bring it, 2012. I’m Ready.

January 3, 2012February 13, 2012Leave a comment

I’m feeling optimistic on this first Monday of the new year. Hopeful. Excited. Good things are brewing in the coming months and I am working on letting go of the worry and enjoying life, and I think, making progress.

Last January I wrote a post called, 2011: I Will Own You, excerpted here:

People seem to have come to the general consensus that 2010 was a shitty year. On a global scale as well as personal, things were often more bad than good, or at least seemed that way much of the time. Of course good things happened too, but the overwhelming feeling might have been defeat for many of us. People we cared about died. People we care about lost their job or their relationship or their home or their pet. We cried a lot.

I thought it was just me who was glad to be stepping into a new year/skin/attitude, but the first few days of January sparked a slew of Facebook posts from my friends vowing to kick ass in 2011. Posts about stepping up, getting out of slumps, renewing passions, not taking shit, and moving forward with optimism. 2011 is going to be better. We are going to make it so. If you believe, it will happen, and I believe. I think the fog of the last few months is passing, and I can see sun and sky and it’s time to finally let go of the disparaging voices in my head—as well as the belittling external voices—and fight for what I want and need and deserve.

So, here’s a (slightly belated) new year’s toast to 2011: You are mine.

And it worked. About a week later, I sold my novel.

So I’m stating my intentions again, here, with you as my witnesses: 2012 will be even better. I will spend more time in sunlight and moonlight, read more books, eat more colors, and play without guilt. I will try to ease up on self-doubt, fear, and worrying about things that haven’t happened. I want joy and love and health and freedom and courage and laughter and fun in the next year, and I will make it so.

So, thanks to 2011 for getting me here. The positivity is growing, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me. I hope you’ll come along for the ride.

It also doesn’t hurt that I’m starting off 2012 with a trip to Maui. (Yay!)

Happy New Year!

Event with Pam Houston Booked!

December 29, 2011January 27, 2012Leave a comment

I’m so excited to share this most recently confirmed event with you: a reading with Pam Houston! As I mentioned before, Pam is one of my all-time favorite authors, and I am honestly so thrilled for her new book, Contents May have Shifted, which comes out in early February.

In addition to being an amazing writer, Pam is also a kind and generous person and one of the best teachers I’ve ever had. I was lucky enough to work with her at UC Davis for several years and she was the chair of my graduate thesis committee, which advised me on the very first draft of Hand Me Down, though it was originally titled something less interesting that no one liked.

Anyway, a dream event has been scheduled with Pam at the Booksmith in San Francisco for April 18th, and I hope you can make it! Maybe I’ll tell the story of how I met Pam as an undergrad before I’d read any of her books and said something stupid and naive that she was gracious enough not to laugh at. Then I read Waltzing the Cat and was tongue-tied around her for years like she was a rock star, and in my world, she totally is.

Check out Pam’s site for more of her events, and look for an events tab on my site coming soon!

House Hunters on HGTV Is a Lie

December 19, 2011December 19, 20114 Comments

I feel so disillusioned right now. House Hunters, and especially House Hunters International on HGTV is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. I’m not sure why it’s so addicting, but it only took a few episodes for me to get hooked. It’s not just me, either. A friend of mine called it “cracktastic” and even Psych referenced its addictive-ness:

Shawn: It’s more addictive than little crack nuggets.

Gus: And House Hunters International.

House Hunters films a couple looking at three properties to buy and then their decision process. We learn why they’re moving, what their wish list is, and how much they can spend. Then we watch them look at the available houses and discuss their options.

Except, IT’S ALL FAKE. The couples chosen for the show have already purchased a house. They have already decided on their house, which is one of the filmed properties, and then the producers choose two other houses for them to look at, create (their term is “adjust”) prices to build more suspense, and have the couple invent an entire conversation that goes through the pros and cons of each property. They act like they don’t know which they’ll pick, but they are acting. Acting! Except, we’re supposed to think it’s real, unlike regular acting, which we’re supposed to understand is scripted. So much for reality TV. This is not just the creative editing we expect in normal reality TV, this is full-on bullshit. Why, House Hunters, why?

A friend of mine said she and her husband were approached by House Hunters after they’d bought their house, and their response was, “But we’re about to move into a house we already bought,” and were told that was what the producers wanted. There are a million other comments and articles on the internet to prove that this happens frequently. It makes me sad. It’s all a big pretense. What about the part when the real estate agent comes back and says the seller didn’t accept their first offer? What about when the couples disagree about a house for a while? Lies! All of it, lies!

I feel so betrayed. Seriously. I don’t know if I can watch this show anymore. Of course, I have over 50 episodes of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman waiting on the DVR that I could catch up on.

Merry Christmas to Me

December 14, 2011December 19, 2011Leave a comment

Do you guys find yourselves wanting to buy yourself gifts as you shop for others around the holidays? I keep finding things that I want when I’m supposed to be searching for things my loved ones will love, and then I feel selfish for getting sidetracked looking at jewelry or books or lamps for myself. But not enough to stop. This happens to other people, too, right?

When I break down and actually purchase one of these lovely somethings, I do feel guilty. Well, let’s be honest, the guilt lasts like a minute, and then I’m excited. I’m easily distracted by pretty things.

There are so many cool stores on the internet! How can I resist? Like The Literary Gift Company, who sells a T-shirt that says, “Careful or you’ll end up in my next novel,” and this pin that I’ve been drooling over for days: Pearl Detail Paper Rose Brooch